You never realize how much death is a part of life until you lose someone. This past May I actually lost my Grandmother who lived with my family for 7 years. Being extremely close to her made her loss a very difficult one. But rather than crying for days after her death, I looked at things from a much different perspective. She was suffering, and regardless of how bad I wanted to keep her around, she was in pain and I couldn't let my own selfishness get in the way.
Coming from a very religious family and having a good family friend as a priest, he delivered a beautiful sermon for her. He explained her death as such: She is not dead. She is not gone. She is everywhere around us. See what happened was is that God came to Pauline's (my grandmother) house and asked her to go on a walk. They had walked so far that in the end, she was closer to his house than hers, and so she went to his home. Religious or not, this made me think. Life is short not doubt. And do I miss her? Absolutely. Everyday. But would I bring her back if I could? Absolutely not. For whatever reason that God wanted to take her, he did. And maybe it is because of my faith that I believe that she has an inmaterial soul that is with me, but I can almost feel her presence. Weird, I know. But silly things keep occurring that don't normally happen in my everyday life and I have no explanation for them. I believe she lived a long, happy life and death is merely but a part of life. And regardless of how much her loved ones miss her, we know that it is good to die and that if physical human beings were capable of living forever, life would not be nearly as precious as it is.
9 comments:
Wow, thats a really good outlook on death. My stepfather actually passed away a few years ago from cancer and left me with a similar view. After watching him suffer for so long everyone in our family felt that he was in a better place. Im not too religious, but i feel that sometimes death can be a welcome thing. No matter how much you might miss someone, knowing that they are in a better place, and they aren't suffering anymore I think makes losing them a lot easier.
A while ago, my uncle died of heart attack. Very sudden. I didn't really feel anything because we weren't particularly close, I just knew his name and his family. So I was in a state of confusion for a little bit.
When I went to where my cousins were, I was surprised by how relaxed everyone was. How seemingly at ease everyone was. Even my aunt. But at the funeral, it was a different story.
The funeral seemed to be the place where everyone can release their emotions. My aunt was a wreck. She couldn't stand up straight. Kept falling to her knees, along with her son and daughter. They were on their faces, crying. And for some reason, this sight caused me to cry. It was the first time I can remember crying for a legitimate reason (not because of a movie or because I hurt myself. Real emotional crying).
But then that very night, we all went to watch a movie, eat some chinese food and had a good time. At that time, I realized that people grieve for their loved ones, then they move on. It was so simple.
While people do die and it is very side, our lives don't stop. We just put one foot in front of the other.
I like to think that although people do die, they never really "die." We still have memories of the time we shared with them and that makes all the more alive. So alive, that you can almost hear them and speak with them again.
I think that if people didn't die, we would lose something special. Our emotions would no longer be useful and we would lose what it means to be human. Something about death brings out the best in us and makes us shine. It also makes us stronger than before.
Cheers
I love your perspective on life and the reason why people have to die. A few years ago I use to contemplate on this alot... mainly because I lost alot of people close to me...my mother, my cousin, my grandfather, a friend. I found that the reason was simply because it was what God intended for us when he created us. He put us here for a set purpose and to enjoy the beauty and the ugliness that life can offer. While we are here we are expected to have an impact on people's lives. Once our mission is done our lives begin to slow down and it is time for us to rest.
Also, because if people didn't die we wouldn't have any experiences to help teach us about life. When we pass we will give others the ability to appreciate life because it is indeed short, yet many people take advantage of the fact that we are here. Life is a gift and in a sense death is too because after working hard God's people gets the benefits of rest and to be able to be celebrated. When we die our torches are then passed on to someone else so that they too can make a difference.
When my grandma passed away a few years ago, my view on death really changed. She had been suffering for a while and finally decided she didn't want to fight anymore. It was her decision and she was taken off her medicines and let nature take its course. I wondered for so long why she did not keep fighting. She is one of the strongest people I knew, and I was sure she could have fought her cancer and won if she kept trying.
But after pondering the subject for a few years I see that to her it wasn't worth it. She raised four children and saw them all grow up and have kids. She had a loving husband and surrounded herself with everything and everyone she loved. She had lived well, and now it was her turn.
She gave her final words of advice, and wouldn't even let anyone except her husband and kids come see her before she passed, because she didn't want us to see her weak. She wanted to leave with us knowing the powerful woman she was. And this is what I think death should be about. Considering your life. And if you've accomplished what you want and are proud looking back, then maybe it is your time to go. And the others that it effects should aspire to one day look back and be as proud as she was.
This is such a good way to think about death. It is such a hard concept to deal with. After a death of someone close it seems like the easiest way to react is to be mad and turn against god. But in reality that wont bring back the person who died it only makes you feel more hateful and upset. Hopefully there is a reason for everything and that god has a plan for everything that happens.
wow, what a strong person you are! I think that how you dealt with the passing of your grandmother only made you stronger. It takes a lot of courage and self-searching to realize that you need to let someone go. Although it is tough, she will always be with you no matter what. I agree with the priest when he said that she is not gone, but rather, she is all around us. Death, especially within the family, is extremely hard to deal with and the grieving process may take years. One quote that has always stuck with me since I was young is, "the goal of grief is not to "get over" a loss. But grief can be our friend. We can remember what is important, affirm what is meaningful, and move from resentment(from losing what we had) to gratitude(for having what we lost)."
I think that it is so important to never forget the one you lost, but I also think that it is important to grieve in a healthy way. I think that death can be a good thing, especially for those who are suffering. Death is a natural part of life, so it is important to realize that death can sometimes be welcoming (for those who are sick and dying). Knowing that your loved one is in a better place can make you feel more at ease, but it still doesn't make it easier on you because you still miss him/her. The important thing to do is to always remember him/her and remember the amazing life that they lived and cherish the memories of him/her.
I agree with you Chelsea. I believe that when I die, I will only be going to another stage in my life. I believe that I will be with God in heaven, which is not only a better place than earth, but nothing that we even experience on this earth can compare to the riches of heaven. I believe that I have an eternity of life, so leaving this earth is not the end. Many people that I love will someday be celebrating life with me again in heaven.
While for me, it will be a good thing to die someday, for someone who does not believe in Heaven, dying is probably not so great. If Christianity is correct, then all people that do not let Jesus Christ into their life on this earth will not have life in Heaven. So in a lot of ways I think it depends on each individual about whether it is good for them to die or not. Maybe another question to ask about death is whether you are at peace about what will happen to you if you die tomorrow?
I think this is one of the most profound things you could have said to really make someone think about having a soul. My godfather died seven years ago from lung cancer. At the time, I didn't understand. I was numb to the feelings everyone around me was having, and I was angry. As i've gotten older, and spent more and more time with my godfather's daughter, I have come to realize too that death was a blessing for him. I also later found out from my mom what he had told her his outlook on death was. He said, "This is my journey, this is what god has planned for me. Although it is not what I would have intended for myself, I will welcome my journey the best I can." Hearing this positive outlook he had, I now feel at peace and that his death truly was a blessing.
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